In Support of Christine Blasey Ford

We have recently heard about the allegations against Brett Kavanaugh, the judge that has been nominated to the Supreme Court by Donald Trump.  Christine Blasey Ford has accused Kavanaugh of sexual assault.    

It is being asked, mind you after the year of #metoo, why is Ford coming forward now.  Is this politically motivated?  Has she made it up?

I can tell you, it is very understandable that Ford has waited this long.  I am telling you as a man who has not experienced sexual assault, but as someone that has experienced a childhood full of personal degradation from the very people that are supposed to be your biggest protectors, my parents. 

In the 50’s and early 60’s, parents were given all the room they needed to raise their children, even if that meant there were clear signs of abuse.  Some of my abuse from my parents was even witnessed by family members and teachers, yet nothing was said to me or done to stop it.  (I must add, after rereading the blog post, there was one teacher that witnessed the degradation in her classroom after school hours.  It included my father hitting me more than once.  The next day, the teacher did approach me during the school day and asked if I was okay.  I said yes because I didn’t want to make things worse.  Maybe if I just keep my head down, this will pass.)  You take that as being your fault and that this is just normal life.  Everybody must go through this.  Your expression of outrage, pain and in the long run, depression is met with indifference.     

That indifference is the secondary society abuse that you receive.  It may not be direct physical abuse but is just as damaging to the soul.  Here you have been degraded to second class citizen in the family unit and now society (and the extended family) disregard your expressions and walk away from you.  Leaving you alone to deal with the problems on your own.

When overpowered by someone else, as I was by my parents, you believe that you did something to encourage the abuse.  You believe that nobody will believe you.

In Ford’s case, she was over powered by a man in one of the most degrading ways possible.  She was not in control of her own body.  She has also been quoted as saying she was in fear of her own life. 

Ford’s statement about her treatment would have been treated as mine.  Plus, at the time and certainly to this day, her gender makes a big difference. Woman are treated differently.  Their statements about abuse and assault are treated with indifference.  You shouldn’t have been in the room.  You must have done something that encouraged him.  You must have liked the attention. 

Does all that sound familiar?  You need only reread the preceding paragraphs about my own experiences to see there are not only parallels and similarities, but they are the same thing. 

All of this means you bury it.  But, even buried, it causes many problems in your life, even if you not be aware of it.  Afterall, isn’t that the lesson you learned from the society around you when you mentioned it? 

Then something changes.  Life comes down on you.  As a person that has been nurtured correctly by your parents or who has not had to bury deep and harsh trauma, you respond well.  You address the issues that you face, solve the problems and build a happy life.

But, if you have had trouble in your life and you are thinking of yourself as a second-class person, you don’t respond well. 

For me, it was facing all the responsibilities of being on my own.  Since my parents had taught me that I was unable of sustain my own life without them, I begin to fail at some of the most fundamental issues of life.  Yes, it was all the practical ones like managing my everyday life, but more importantly, it was personal relationships and not having a feeling of at least a small measure of happiness.

It sent me into hell.  In therapy, I had to dig into every pile of shit that I had pushed to the backroom of my mind and relive them.  Yes, relive.  Because, by reliving them you are given the opportunity to draw more life affirming conclusions that enable you learn to deal with the pressures of your life. 

For Ford, she went into therapy also.  This was before Kavanaugh.  She wasn’t waiting for him to be nominated to the Supreme Court, as if she knew some day he was going to be.  She went for personal reasons.  She wanted what I wanted and what every single person in this world wants, a small slice of happiness and peace.

Ford needed to relive the experience, as horrifying as that is, and draw a different conclusion.  That new conclusion is that Kavanaugh must be held responsible for his actions.

Now, I am here to tell you, Ford will still be held to some of the same societal indifference and degradation today as she would have been 30 years ago.  I know I am.  I have even given up explaining my childhood abuse to most people today because it is way to difficult to get past the first reaction most come up with, “Oh, every child has those same experiences, get over it.” 

For Ford, it is, why are you bringing it up now?  If you don’t understand the answer to that question, then you must be held as responsible as Kavanaugh.              

A shift in social attitudes

The campaign from the right tried to make the 2012 Presidential election a repudiation of President Obama’s economy.  The message was; there isn’t enough job growth, the economy is sluggish and the deficit is too high.  Many voters did buy into this message.  The electorate clearly moved to the right in this election. 

Most Americas it appears are fiscal conservatives.  In the past, when the economy was slow or sluggish, the incumbent faced certain defeat.  Votes may want their religion and their guns, but what they really want is a job and a future for their children.  There is nothing wrong with that.  After all, the thinking goes, without a healthy economy it may all be for naught.

With the blind confidence that the right’s strategy to focus on the economy was the correct one, many thought the voters wouldn’t notice the other ideas that the right would bring quietly with them to their elected posts.  But, those Republicans who could not be controlled by their party came out of the woodwork.  (Maybe a better word than “woodwork” might be “cave”.)  Most of the ideas from the most extreme Republicans were talking points from a century ago.  Birth control, rape, abortion, race, the rejection of gay rights, the role of government (or lack thereof) and many other old, tired ideas.  While the generation that came from those times may have been happy to talk about them, those from the last two generations rolled their eyes.

With an economy portrayed as being bad and an electorate that shifted to the right (actually, more like a shift to the center) should have been enough.  But, the social positions that the right holds so dearly brought it all back to focus.  It turned enough voters back in support of Obama. 

This represents a fundamental change in the social attitudes of the country, as slight as it may be.  In this election cyle, a president with a liberal social agenda won in what was portrayed as a sluggish economy.  Perhaps as many as four states (three for sure) supported marriage equity.  The voters want the financial reforms that came out of the crisis to stay in place.  They supported the continuation of the health care reform.  The right to choose will be left in place.  Gay rights will be supported by more and more people.  Also, many other ideas from the last two generations will now become accepted as part of a new life of freedom and security in the country.

If the Republicans continue with their current track of holding on to old social ideas they will soon be obscure.  But, if they change they may have a chance.  That of course, in the irony of the times, is actually what they are fighting against.

Body autonomy, at the core of abortion rights

In a perfect world, everyone’s rights would be given the same weight. But, the practical matter is, in a community that has its entire existence invested in the freedom of the individual, there are times when someone’s right must be overridden by someone else.

As examples, we can say troubling things that can harm people, but it is our right to express. When Occupy took over ground to stage their protests, they prevented others from using the property for other reasons. We take up arms to fight the enemy to save ourselves and our way of life, but many of our own and others die in the process. In the end, these and other freedoms that we as a community feel so fervently about are worth the loss.

All freedoms are based on body autonomy. It is the basic idea that individuals can’t be forced to submit to the will of others. It may have had a different meaning in the past, perhaps anchored in the anti-slavery movement. But, in this expanded usage, not only does it apply to involuntary servitude, but also to other freedoms.

As it is with all other freedoms, it is also true with abortion, perhaps with deeper implications. But, because the end result may be more troubling to some, it doesn’t mean that the individual freedom to make the choice is any less sacred. The fact is, a woman can’t be made to labor for someone else if she doesn’t choose to. To discount her right of body autonomy would be placing an entire class of people below the rights of all others.

Abortion will be a big issue in the upcoming election. Many of the candidates will talk high mindedly about how abortions should be stopped. But, when all the rhetoric is set aside, it will mean a woman is being forced to give up her right to body autonomy. During the election season, many states will also make an attempt to pass citizens initiatives that restrict or prevent abortions. Many will attempt to define life at conception or at the first heartbeat so abortion can be curtailed. It still means the same thing, woman will lose control.

Whatever the rhetoric or the passion, abortion must remain legal and safe in this world, this country and this community.

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